Are You Excited?

I live in a small hamlet. Between that and social media, I only had to physically tell a few people about Better Half's new job and our impending move and post one status update on facebook, and now everyone knows.

This is totally fine with me. In fact, it's how I wanted it to happen. Much easier for me.

Except that now, I get to have the "Oh, you're moving" conversation with everyone I encounter. And it goes something like this:

Friendly Acquaintance: I hear you guys are moving!

Me (trying to smile): Yep, that's what I hear, too.

Friendly Acquaintance: Wow! California! Are you so excited??

This is where my response has changed over the past couple of months. In the beginning I could answer truthfully, "Actually, right now I'm in shock. It's a lot to take in."

And then later, when the shock had worn off, and my "good chit-chat etiquette" filter was still in place, I would respond with smiles and vague comments about looking forward to the weather there and increased opportunities for my kids.

The "good chit-chat etiquette" filter is now gone. I think I left it by the ice machine at Wal Mart after I had exchanged the above dialog with the upteenth person that day. Either that or it just completely wore through.

Now I just tell the truth. So the conversation goes something like this:

Friendly Acquaintance: I hear you guys are moving!

Me (still trying to smile): Yes. To California. Sometime in July.

Friendly Acquaintance: Wow!! Are you so excited?

Me: Nope. Our families live here. Many of our dearest friends live here. We're taking our kids away from everything they know. It's really hard for me to get excited about all of that. I hope I can eventually get there.

Please understand. I know that people are not trying to be insensitive when they strike up a conversation about moving. I know they are actually doing it because they care about us. I also know that they don't mean to be insensitive when they ask if I'm excited.

But it is an odd question. Are you excited? I think people ask it because they don't really know what to say. I want to ask them if they would be excited to pack up the life they've always known and move it somewhere else.

And I realize that people do that sort of thing all the time. We just never have.

When I discussed how I felt about all of this with Better Half, he said he's experiencing a similar phenomenon in the Golden State.

As soon as people meet him they say, "Wow. I bet you're glad to be getting out of Kansas."
And his response is, "Well, since my entire family is there, most of my friends are there, I lived there my entire life...not really."

This makes me feel a little bit better. Because he's usually so much more diplomatic than I am.

The hands-down, best conversation we've had so far with anyone about the move was with Oldest Son's baseball coach when Better Half was home for Christmas.

Coach to Better Half: So how's the job in California. Do you like it?
Better Half: You know, I do. I think it's going to be a really good job for me.
Coach: That SUCKS!

Yesitdoes. Thankyouverymuch.

But now it has been three months. It's starting to sink in. And right now I'm sitting in an airport, waiting to board the airplane that will take me to this place. This place I've really never been. This place where my husband is living his life.

And because that's where he's living his life, I realize it's also my home. And I'm curious about it. I'm looking forward to Better Half showing me around his city--his life.

So this feeling building in my chest?? Maybe it could be classified somewhere on the "excitement" spectrum.