And So It Begins Again

Well, that was the world's shortest summer ever.

I had such grandiose plans.  We were going to get so much accomplished.

Instead, we finally cleaned out our garage and we didn't kill each other.

And now it's back to the grind.  

Don't they look excited?

    Way to represent, Kiddo! Go Royals!!

This kid will likely get to add "homework" to his list of birthday presents.  He is so unbelievably lucky.

        My baby.  Middle school.  Sigh.

What a Difference a Year Makes

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One year ago today, in the wee hours of the morning--so early as to still be considered the previous day by most, I tearfully hugged amazing friends who spent the better part of a school night helping me with last-minute packing and cleaning.

One year ago today, my oldest daughter and I walked to the nearby convenience store to grab a quart of milk for breakfast.  The fridge was essentially empty and the car already on its way.  I don't remember what we talked about on the way or the way back, but I remember knowing that I sure was going to miss getting to hang with this beautiful girl/woman whenever I wanted.  And I remember worrying about being 1000+ miles away from her.

One year ago today, my three younger children checked and double-checked their bags, weighing them one last time just to make sure they were under the plane's 50 lb weight limit.

One year ago today, our dear friends Chad and Sarah, let their sweet daughter skip school just to see my sweet daughter off.  AND they loaned us their car, because we had too many people, and too much stuff, to load into one.

One year ago today, I read Alexander, Who Is Not (Do You Hear Me, I Mean It!) Going to Move to my kids.  And I cried.

One year ago today, my best friend took the day off of work, loaded up her car as well, and took us to the airport.

One year ago today, my mother drove four hours to surprise us at said airport for one last goodbye.

One year ago today, I ugly-cried harder than I maybe ever have in my life.  So did my youngest.  I'm surprised the TSA let us board the airplane without some serious proof that I was indeed her mother and not, in fact, a crazy kidnapper/suicide bomber.

One year ago today, we met Better Half in at an airport in a new city where we knew absolutely no one.  He was so excited to see us and I was so, well, not excited to be there.

One year ago today, I could hardly see the scenery around me through the blur of tears threatening to fall, let alone appreciate it.

One year ago today, I walked through the house that would be my new home.  I couldn't for one second imagine making a life in it.  It was so different from the house I had loved and left and of which I had so many memories.

One year ago today, I worried that my children would hate school.  That they wouldn't make friends.  That they'd be miserable.

One year ago today, I worried that I wouldn't make friends.  I worried even more that I'd never want to.  And that I'd be miserable.

One year ago today, I cried myself to sleep in a strange, small apartment where I had just seen a roach.




Today I woke up in my bedroom, surrounded by my things that work just as well in this house as they did in the old one.  I got a cup of coffee from my kitchen that sports a five-people-live-here kind of clutter.

Today I kissed my husband "good morning" with a smile on my face instead of tears in my eyes.  And I noticed yet again how great he looks.  He is challenged and valued at his work.  He's thriving in this climate--with mountains and the ocean practically in our backyard.

Today I was reminded that he lived my dream for eighteen years, and it's an honor to be living his.

Today, my daughter woke up excited about 7th grade orientation, her California Bestie spending the day with us, and a youth group party tonight.

Today, I dropped forms off in the school office and was greeted by name and with a smile by a fellow parent.

Today, my boys headed to the nearby gym for a workout--excited for the upcoming fall baseball season.  They have plans today with friends and with teammates.

Today, I noticed how beautiful the mountains look.

Today, my kids may not be looking forward to school starting (or they aren't admitting it), but I know that they'll see familiar faces in class and they'll have friends to sit with at lunch.

Today, we still miss our friends back "home" very much.  But if we were to leave here, there would be people we would miss just as much.

Today, I still wish that I could grab my oldest daughter--now truly an adult, but always my child--and take her for a cup of coffee or have her stop by for a chat whenever we want, but I am so incredibly proud of how she's making her own way in the world.




The sun has amazing and healing powers.

Especially the ones that come simply because planet Earth faithfully makes a complete trek around it, over and over and over again.

What a difference a year makes.

My, How Time Flies!

I could swear it happened yesterday.

It certainly feels like it did.  I remember it with that much clarity.

The day that they put him into my arms and I officially "met" him for the first time.  

I was terrified.  

I didn't know if I would have enough love for two.  

I'm a book-reading, introverted, not-at-all-athletic, well...girl.  

The child I had managed to keep alive for the two years prior to that point?  Girl.

I had serious doubts about my abilities to talk Hot Wheels or Transformers, play catch, or (let's just be real, here) sit through a sporting event of any kind.  

But as I held him that evening so long ago and looked at his sweet face, I realized there was more than enough love.   

I realized that whatever it was, if he loved it and was interested in it, I would love it and be interested in it too.

So now I know all about stuff like NASCAR.  

I can hold my own in a conversation about Orka whales.  Or I could when he was four.

I can still recite the entire dialogue of Toy Story and sing most of the Veggie Tales songs.

I now know that you can laugh so hard that you cry about things like farts and burps and underpants.  Not because you yourself think these things are funny, but because your child's belly laugh is so incredibly infectious.

I finally know the difference between a double and a double play.  

As well as the fact that an official is a "Ref" in football and an "Ump" or "Blue" in baseball.  

I know the indescribable joy coupled with the agonizing heartbreak of watching a tiny baby morph into a little boy and again into a young man before my very eyes.  

And again.  I can hardly believe it.  

Because when I think about this person who completely changed my life seventeen years ago, this is who I kind of still expect to see.

But I'll admit.  This is pretty great, too.

So many happy returns of the day, Kiddo!  

I absolutely love being your mom.