The Wolf I Feed

My friend, Sarah, who has a great blog of her own that you can read here, posted this question on Facebook today:

Informal and potentially loaded facebook survey...Do you think humanity is innately good or evil? When presented with a choice do you initially gravitate towards kindness or malice? Not what you actually do or choose, but what's your first reaction? Good? Or ill? And...GO!


Now, there is nothing I like better than a "potentially loaded" Facebook post.

Sure--I love to see smiling pics of the fam and find out that the Pinterest recipe was a huge hit with the book club set.  I have been known to spit coffee onto my computer screen at some of the "Some ee cards" out there (and quickly pull up another internet window so I don't have to explain something I'm so not ready to explain to my very observant ten-year-old).

But ask me for my opinion on a philosophical question and my fingers start itching...literally...to tell all of someone's 450 some-odd Facebook friends (most of whom don't know me from Adam) exactly what I think.

And, dear reader, I TOTALLY took the bait. I answered the question.

Well.  Actually...

I answered the first part of the question.   I talked about that Cherokee legend about the wolves (if you don't know it you can read it here) and I said that I thought it was our responsibility to feed our "good wolves" and the "good wolves" of those around us.

And then I got up from the computer and went to unload the dishwasher.  And this is the conversation that I had with my inner Jiminy Cricket:

Jiminy:  Really?  You really think it's our responsibility to feed "the good wolves" of those around us?

Me:  Yes.  Of course!  Don't you?

Jiminy:  Well, that's not what you do...

Me:  EXCUSE me?

Jiminy:  It isn't.  You spend more time telling your kids and Better Half what they're doing "wrong" or what you're frustrated with than you do telling them what they're doing "right."

Me (sputtering):  But...I shouldn't have to give them kudos for...they know what they're supposed to...how will they...?

Jiminy:  And when you're talking to your friends, you complain and criticize a LOT.

Me (indignantly):  I do NOT!  I share my opinions with my friends, but I am FUNNY...it's lighthearted satire...I don't complain and criticize!

Jiminy:  Just because your complaints and criticisms are thinly--very thinly--veiled with sarcasm and humor doesn't mean they aren't still complaints and criticisms.

Me (with my lips tightly pressed together):  I am so NOT talking to you about this, anymore!

Jiminy:  Fine.  But think about it.  What if you really focused on feeding the "good wolf" in others?  Made it a priority?  Stopped complaining, pointing out failings and frustrations and focused on the good?  Would everyone's "good wolf" grow?

Ouch.  I guess that's the answer to my friend, Sarah's question.

In my wolf world, the planned feedings, the feasts, the holiday dinners, etc. go (mostly) to Good Wolf.  That's not no say I've never planned a feeding for Bad Wolf.  Unfortunately, I have.  And when I do, it's a five course meal with all the fixin's.

But in my wolf world, Bad Wolf is friendlier.  His fur is softer.  He sits patiently at my feet and nudges my legs so I will pet him.  And before I know it, I'm feeding him scraps and snacks and tidbits of complaining and gossip and irritation and unforgiveness and judgement.

Good Wolf hangs back. He's not initially so friendly or inviting.  I have to approach him.  But once I do and offer my food, the devotion I get wildly surpasses that of Bad Wolf.

Everyone's wolf world doesn't look like mine.  For many people, Good Wolf is the friendlier one--the one that is forefront in the pack.  And I am so envious of those people.

But that doesn't let me off the hook.

So here begins my campaign to be more purposeful about  "Feeding the Good Wolves."

In myself, and in others.

Chick-Fil-Ugh

My personal experience with the fast-food chain, Chick-Fil-A is minimal.  I'll admit it.

I realize that it has an almost cult-like following (even before all of the media attention it's getting these days), but I'm not a part of that cult.

I've eaten there exactly one time in my life and I wasn't impressed.  To be fair, I was on my way home from a seven day cruise in the Caribbean.  And I don't care how great their spicy chicken sandwich is, it couldn't hold a candle to the kind of food I'd been eating the previous week.

There is no Chick-Fil-A in my tiny hamlet, but when my kiddos where tiny, some friends of ours (who have family in the Denver area) frequented it often.  They would bring us their extra Kid's Meal toys.  Now, as a home school mommy, any restaurant that gives a kid a "free" Usborn Book gets a big "thumbs up" from me.

But until recently, I never really thought about Chick-Fil-A.  Ever.

Now I'm thinking about Chick-Fil-A a lot.  Thank you, constant and instant media and social networking platforms.

Actually I'm thinking about some people's response to it.  And I'm bemused.

Here's what I understand (and I realize this is simplified):

The CEO of Chick-Fil-A, Dan Cathy, stated in an interview with a Christian publication that  although he doesn't consider Chick-fil-A a "Christian business," he does operate on "biblical principles." "We are very much supportive of the family — the biblical definition of the family unit....


So Mr. Cathy voiced his opinion on a social issue.  Fine.  Last I checked, his Constitutional rights as an American citizen allow him to do that.

But frankly?

The response to Mr. Cathy's opinion by political figures like Mike Huckabee and many Americans who share this opinion confuses me.

There now seems to be an even more cult-like support of Chick-Fil-A.  People are patronizing it en masse.  

So here's MY question:

If the CEO of PhillipMorrisUSA  stated that he "operates on biblical principles" and "is supportive of the family and the biblical definition of the family unit," are Mr. Huckabee and everyone else going to run to their nearest convenience store or "Smoker Friendly" and purchase and smoke a carton of cigarettes?

Because here's the thing:

Chick-Fil-A food (and fast food in general) ISN'T.  GOOD.  FOR.  YOU.

Here's a list of chicken nugget ingredients, straight from the Chick-Fil-A website:

100% natural whole breast filet, seasoning (salt, monosodium glutamate, sugar, spices, paprika), seasoned coater (enriched bleached flour [bleached wheat flour, malted barley flour, niacin, iron, thiamine mononitrate, riboflavin, folic acid], sugar, salt, monosodium glutamate, nonfat milk, leavening [baking soda, sodium aluminum phosphate, monocalcium phosphate], spice, soybean oil, color [paprika]), milk wash (water, egg, nonfat milk), peanut oil (fully refined peanut oil with TBHQ and citric acid added to preserve freshness and Dimethylpolysiloxane an anti-foaming agent added).

Yeah.  

We have documented factual heart disease concerns in this country.  We have documented childhood obesity concerns in this country.  Celiac's disease is on the rise, cancer is on the rise and so are a host of other health issues.  Fast food restaurants are not helping this problem.

Frankly, since Mr. Cathy is in the food industry, and food is how we feed "the temple",

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own...1 Corinthians 6:19

I am so much more interested in how Mr. Cathy is going to apply the biblical principles of healthy food choices to his business practices.  But strangely, no one is discussing that.  Hmm...

Instead, political figures and Americans at large are willing to stand with someone on a social opinion even if to do so means to disregard factual health research, AND another biblical principle (the health of our physical bodies).

I still don't get it.  

So as for me and my house...

We are eating at home.

It's an Ill Wind That Blows Nobody Good

July, 2012 has pretty much sucked.

It has sucked the most for Better Half, but the entire family has been affected.

My mother-in-law has been fighting an aggressive form of cancer for over two years.  This month, Better Half and his four siblings watched her lose her fight with this terrible disease.

In the midst of the process there was joy and peace and love and laughter and family and mended relationships.  It is holy and sacred to see someone leave this place for the next.  Death, after all isn't the opposite of life.  It is the opposite of birth. And the exit from this place is just an entrance to another, better place.

She was fifty-six.  That's too young to die.  Five children now inhabit a planet where their mother does not.  The world isn't the same when that happens.  My two youngest sisters-in-law won't have their mother to go wedding dress shopping with them.  There will be grandchildren who will never get to meet her.  We all have regrets that we didn't _____________________.  We all just thought we'd have plenty of time.


At Better Half's annual review, he was told that the company he works for is downsizing and consolidating positions, leaving him without employment.

I'll let you in on a little secret:  Job loss is one of my biggest fears.

So now our reality is severance packages, COBRA decisions, resumes, networking, a faltering economy, possible relocation and an (obviously) significant reduction in income.

And a full-time working mommy.  Certainly, this is the least of our problems.  I'm fortunate to have a job and a boss who didn't blink an eye when I asked if I could bump my FTE to 1.0 from 0.5.  Surely, after almost 18 years, it's only fair that I take my turn being responsible for things like health insurance benefits.  But I don't want to.  Yup.  There it is.  My inner two-year-old rears its ugly head.  I like working part time (or not at all).  I like having discretionary income.  I had plans for my time off this school year.  I'm trying not to have a bad attitude.  And I'm successful.  Most of the time.  If I get my coffee quickly enough in the morning.

This switch from part-time to full-time also means a change in my job title and duties for this coming year.  Again.  I had plans for this year.  They didn't include this.  I'll get over it.  Hopefully I'll rise to the challenge and be able to look back on this time and appreciate all that we learned and how much we grew. But right now, I'm tired, depressed, and overwhelmed.  And scared.

I know that in the grand scheme of things, we are incredibly blessed, but still.

I'm really looking forward to the start of next month.  It's got to be an improvement over this one.

A Heartfelt Thank You

Dear Coach Schmidt,

As I watched you hug Oldest Son and each young man on your baseball team as you handed them their trophies and congratulated them on taking second at State today, it hit me full-force that we had just played our last game with this team and with you as our head coach.

And I'm not sure we've ever expressed our gratitude for all that you've done for him.

Thank you for cutting him from the Southwind Sluggers team when he was ten.  That experience taught him so much about trying, failing, working hard, and trying again.  Thanks for taking the time to explain to his dad what he needed to work on to be better.  Thanks for loving kids so much that you agonized over that decision, and thank you to your wife, who shared that with me at the store one day--months after it happened.  Exactly when I needed to hear it.

Thanks for giving him a spot on the Jr. Pups 11 and under team.  I've never seen him so excited!

Thank you for praying with your team before and after every game (Oldest Son's Facebook cover photo is a shot of all of you doing this very thing).  Thank you for unashamedly sharing your faith with these young men.  Thank you also, for cutting up with them and having a good time and making mistakes and apologizing.  These boys are seeing what it looks like to be a man of God and that it doesn't have to ruin your good time or mean you have to be "stuffy" and "perfect."

Thank you for coming over to our house to personally check on Oldest Son's eye injury a couple of years ago and for bringing the game ball signed by his team and for praying with him before you left.  He healed enough to play in part of that tournament the following weekend, as I remember. "The prayers of a righteous man availeth much..." :o)

Thank you for not just coaching these boys during games, but also for teaching them.  Thank you for pushing hard, expecting excellence, and allowing for mistakes and for always explaining.  Oldest Son is definitely a better ball player for it, and I believe someday he'll be a better coach for it as well. Hopefully someday when he gets to coach his own son.

Thank you for loving to win games and for not being ashamed of that fact, but thank you also for putting family and relationships and integrity ahead of winning ball games.

Thank you that I overheard other coaches say multiple times, "We love playing this team.  It's such a great group of kids and coaches."

Thank you, most importantly, to your family--especially your son, who is so kind about you taking on additional "kids" every summer.  We know that time spent with our son and with the baseball team means less time spent with your family.  Thank you to both you and he for befriending Better Half and Oldest Son.  They both have a great time hanging out with the two of you.

They say that "It takes a village to raise a child."  I heartily agree.  Thank you so very much for being such a big part of our village these last four years.


You did what you set out to do.

You prepared these boys very well for high school baseball.


Better Half and I are looking forward to sitting with you and your family in the stands watching all that the next four years has to offer!

Thanks again.  So very, very much.

Go Big or Go Home (or to the E.R.)

I think I mentioned that I am on a money-saving kick.

Along with reusing everything  I possibly can, I'm also trying to eat food we already have as opposed to buying new.

So I spent some time digging around in my deep-freeze.  It was kind of like an archaeological excavation.  You could see my "buy cheap" phase, my "buy organic" phase, my "vegan" phase, my "the kids are wearing me down--let's eat a bunch of crap" phase.. All in nice, neat, layers.

And this weekend, my family (unbeknownst to them) is going to help me test exactly how long chicken breasts can be frozen and then thawed and grilled.  :o)

The tightwad gazette lady's got nothin' on me!

Random Ramblings

I have a million thoughts going through my head.  For those of you who are now just a tiny bit worried, this is different than a million voices going through my head.  I know.  I've got a doctor's note.  :o)

But none of these thoughts are substantial enough to warrant an entire blog post.  So here they are, because "we're better together":

1.  First and foremost:  It's 9:08pm.  Can I legitimately go to bed yet?  This thought hits my brain around 4 pm EVERY. DAY.  Along with thoughts of...Is that a headache?  I think I feel a headache coming on.  That's gotta be good for an 8pm bedtime at least...

2.  I made my own ground mustard today.  Yeah.  That sounds really amazing, but actually it isn't.  I was out of ground mustard, and I was too lazy frugal to go to the store for it.  So I pulverized mustard seeds in the coffee grinder.  Worked like a charm.  Except that the next person who grinds coffee beans is gonna get a little bit of a mustard bite along with their Sam's Choice Free-Trade Espresso Blend.  Sorry, Better Half!

3.  Speaking of frugal--I'm on a money-saving kick these days.  It means I'm doing things like shopping at Aldi (where I found avocados for $0.39 a piece and hormone-free milk--I LOVE you, Aldi), and washing out Zip-Lok bags and re-using tin foil. I do wash out Zip-Lok bags regularly, but I've taken this to a new level.  ANY bag with a zippered seal is getting washed to be reused.  So if you dig in my fridge, those may not be dried apricots.  That may not be shredded mozzarella cheese. Just giving you a heads-up.  And if I bring you some food item and the foil on the top is REALLY crinkly, I washed it first, I promise.  :o)

4.  I SUCK at CrossFit.  I know this because not only do I need a step-by-flippin'-step instruction guide--with pictures--for each and every weight-lift every time (even if I just did whatever we're doing two days ago),  I apparently don't understand what to do if I can't actually lift the thirty pound bar stupid thing and it falls--today it landed on my shins.  I have since been instructed that if the bar is falling forward, throw it forward...etc. Makes perfect sense.  But I'm pretty sure that if I have enough control of the stupid thing to know which direction it's going, I should be able to get it into whatever position it's supposed to be in in the first place.  Ugh.  I now know why running is my primary form of exercise.  One. Foot. In. Front. Of. The. Other.  That's all I'm good for. Truly.

5. Speaking of injured shins--last week, a couple of my seasoned CrossFit friends were showing off their bruises and telling me what I have to look forward to.  I think you jinxed me, ladies. By tomorrow, I'll have a matching set of doozies to show you!

6.  Handstand Pushups???  What drunk idiot even THOUGHT to do that?  Come on.  Really?  What self-respecting adult does a handstand against a wall and then says, "Dude, Biff.  Watch this!  Watch me put my forehead on this filthy floor, my disgusting feet on this wall, and then push myself up with my brute strength."   Okay.  Done thinking  about CrossFit.  Until Friday at 5:15am...

7.  While we're on athletics, my kids got the athlete gene.  The one that skipped me.  Oldest son and his baseball team won their baseball tournament after five games and triple-digit temperatures and baseball dugouts designed for Alaskan baseball players.  They trapped some serious heat!  Youngest son is turning into quite a pitcher, and the Mermaid shaved 12 seconds off of her IM (individual medley--read: crazy race) time at her last meet.

8.  This is the summer of laundry.  I wash towels.  And baseball uniforms.  And more towels.  And more baseball uniforms.

9.  Dear Friend's beautiful baby gets more yummy every single day.  Today she snuggled in and let me hold her while she napped for two hours.  Dear Friend and I drank coffee and chatted and stared at her baby. It was perfect! WHAT on EARTH did we do together before that fabulous baby arrived?

10.  It's hot.  I mean "Death Valley" kind of hot.  We have some friends who live a stone's throw from Death Valley.  They are visiting this week.  The week that it's only 4 degrees cooler here than it would be there and the humidity is 18% higher.  Sorry, friends.

And now, folks, it's 10:41.

I can legitimately go to bed without feeling like a loser.

Sweet dreams to you and yours!

Out of the Mouths

I'm so proud.

So far today I've heard:

Butthole

Frickin'

Shut Up (more times than I can count)

Stupid

Turd

And this is what's been said when I've been within earshot.  I don't even want to THINK about what's being said when I'm not.

I "heart" public middle school.